Top Ten

When I became a parent, I knew I would say things I swore I would never say to my kids. Realistically, I knew I might let loose with the occasional "Because I said so" or "Because I am your mother" or "I've had it". Here are a few of the things I have said that I never could have imagined...

10. Stop pulling my eye lids!

9. We do not stand on top of tables.

8. You cannot go to school wearing only a belt.

7. Please stop putting your sister in that box.

6. Yes, I'm sure Spider Man has a penis under his suit.

5. Please don't rub your butt on my pillow.

4. If you lick your sister one more time, you are going to your room!

3. Spiders don't go grocery shopping.

2. No pickin', no pokin', no flickin' (boogers, of course)

And, the number one thing I never could have imagined saying...

1. When you are an adult, you can ask someone to touch your ravioli penis.